Dating a guy with kids and an ex wife

I'm not sure if you exist yet fully, but to all the women looking to get romantically involved with my ex, I figured I would send out the messenger pigeon.

I know it's rude to say "one of you," but frankly, who knows how long you will be around?

I was just trying to be honest: As someone in her mid-30s who never planned on having kids, being the girlfriend of an older man with three teenagers is a challenging place to be. Then last month — three years into our relationship — my boyfriend Kevin received a text from his ex-wife: Oh what I wouldn’t give for the days when I felt left out.

The fact is, Kevin and his ex are model co-parents.

When I brought up a couple whose daughter played soccer with our girls last season, my soccer pal casually stated, “They split up,” as if revealing that said mutual friend had purchased a new pair of clogs. “You might not be technically married, but you still have to deal with all the stupid little sucky stuff about being married. To have someone swoop in and take care of a meal, then swoop away? Just thinking the word “alone” freaked me out a bit, not because I couldn’t imagine it, but because I could.

Someone had mentioned that there were always a lot of beer bottles in their recycling bin, which I assumed was a good sign—that once the kids went to bed, they sat on the couch like we did, drinking pale ales and catching up on .

Goodness knows I was hoping to not hear about one of you either.

New Prospective Date/Girlfriend: I know you were hoping to not hear from me.

I knew that if I were in her position, I’d want to meet me, too. Numbers were exchanged, and I soon found myself texting my boyfriend’s ex-wife to make plans.

“Because of the children you must stretch and force yourself beyond your normal comfort zone,” says Michele Germaine, a licensed social worker and marriage family therapist, and cited on Parent

This conversation probably won’t be easy for either of you.

Whether it's two minutes, two months, two years, or forever, I think I have some good advice for you.

Since I've already been there as the wife, I think it couldn't hurt to heed my advice.